NEWS - Saturday, October 6, 2001
Vykkers Labs: Industry Leader
Vykker Labs, the most profitable airship-based global pharmaceutical company in Oddworld, is now ready to take your moolah online at vykkerslabs.com. Learn why Vykkers Labs sets the standard in chunky laxative technology, lung replacements, and hyper-caffeination methods. Only Fuzzles were harmed in the creation of this site.
From the Vykkers Labs Annual Report: The fastest growing Franchise in the Vykkers Conglomerate, Vykkers Labs owes its prodigious success to a wide-ranging portfolio of market-busting consumer products, especially in the pharmaceutical and processed food arenas. With a daring corporate strategy built upon pure research, audacity and ruthless opportunism, Vykkers Labs has pioneered one innovative product after another.
Leveraging their dominance of the Laxative market space, Vykkers Labs has proliferated their "Butt Flo" formula into products as diverse as novelty gum, soft-drinks, and fine wines. From here, it was an easy leap to synergize products in new and exciting ways, using one product to literally create demand for another. With the Gum-Rot products, for example, the company now earns profit on the entire lifecycle of consumers oral needs, from the first sugar-coated toothbrush stroke to the final installation of disposal dentures. But innovation and product linkages are only one part of the exciting Vykkers story. Vykkers Labs took off (literally) when profits were re-invested in giant floating factory labs. These impregnable fortresses allowed the company to unearth new products and opportunities in remote areas, free of interference from tree-hugging Mudokons, animal rights wackos and other anti-progress freaks. It is within the blood-stained walls of these innovation institutions that products as diverse as Headburn Shampoo, Chill Pills, Baby Chow and Home Cosmetic Surgery Kits were developed and brought to market.
But without the trust of consumers, none of these thrilling and imaginative products would have ever reached the retail shelf. Quality is tested in to each and every Vykkers product with a rigorous certification process, utilizing only the most repetitive animal testing possible.
Source: http://www.vykkerslabs.com